Monday, July 20, 2009

Beautiful Tennessee


I got a bee in my bonnet.

It happens. I get to thinking about something and just can't rest until I get it. Well, I got into my head that I needed a new project and what I really wanted was a log cabin.

We found one only about 1/2 hour from here - a really nice 200 year old log house - that was just beautiful and CHEAP. But it sat at the end of a street that looked like meth row. So we kept looking. I found a really cute house way east of here with 8 acres and a pretty stream and pond. It was new and had really nice plantings. My husband looked at it and saw nothing but yard work. We looked to the west, but didn't like the area. We tried going north-east, but the place we found was just plain creepy.

This past weekend I found an internet site that had Tennessee listings. Looking thru them, I found IT. We went to see it Sunday. The cabin is tiny (livingroom, kitchen, bath and one bedroom) but it sits at the foot of a lovely hill. I think we should call it Friar's Cottage (because the hill is cleared on top and has trees all around the sides). On the top of the hill were deer. We watched the deer and they occasionally they looked at us. It's just beautiful. When my husband went to check the spring (the water is spring water) he was followed back by the skinniest little kitten. She kept mewing, but I had nothing I could feed her. When I picked her up, she purred and made biscuits. We bought the place, but a requirement of the sale was that the agent go back and save the kitten.

The cabin has electricity and basic plumbing (a claw-foot tub!) but no appliances. The heating system is a fireplace. I can't wait to go sit on the porch and spin wool.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Southern "Crazy"

My sister sent me an email yesterday asking me for my email address.

I really can't add anything to that. It's Southern crazy to perfection.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Feeling better but poorer

It's been a month since my sister died, and I've had some bouts of deep sadness, but I'm doing better now. To get to this point has cost me a lot of money. I went on a yarn buying binge. As if I needed more yarn. I bought quite a bit of Cherry Tree Hill Possum laceweight, Orenburg lace, and Suri lace. Because it was such a deal I also bought sweater amounts of CTH Soft Angora, which is (I believe 70% wool and 30% angora). I've also made arrangements to visit my husband's family in Mobile and booked a decent room (rather than staying with one of his sisters or his mother). We'll be going in early March. In mid April, I'm signed up for a 2 day bobbin lace class in Georgia. AND, this AM I bought a new bicycle.

Not exactly a bicycle. I got a recombent trike. I had a very good comfort bike but couldn't ride it because I was afraid of it. My feet did not touch the ground when I stopped. Since I've had both knees replaced already and have arthritis steadily moving through my body, I needed something safe and comfortable. So I ordered the trike. I'll be sitting only 9.5 inches off the ground, so even if I fall off, I won't go far. It has two wheels in the front and one in the back to make it more stable than the traditional style tricycle. I look forward to it's getting here and trying it out. We have a very nice bike path nearby.

Anyway, I'm feeling better.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

No matter how hard you try

You just can't get past your core.

I was always the least favorite child. You try to get past that, but even when you think you have, it slaps you in the face now and then.

I've made it clear that I want to be cremated when I die. At my sister's funeral I realized that the reason I've been so adamant about that is that I don't expect anyone would come. It's a pattern that I just noticed has been repeated throughout my life. My first marriage was in my sister's livingroom on New Year's Eve, because family was going to be there anyway. My second was in the courthouse. When I was very sick and in the hospital, I told people they didn't need to visit me, I was OK. They didn't, but I wasn't. I've always tried so hard to please my family; and they are pleased when I make something special for them. But it's short term. It wears off. It goes away.

I see myself as an unnecessary person.

Yesterday my brother-in-law asked me over to my sister's house to take her knitting supplies. While I was there he asked if there was anything I wanted. I saw 2 plates in the cupboard that I recognized as having belonged to my grandmother and great grandmother. He gave them to me. I was so excited. So I took them over to show my mother and she said, "Oh, no. You can 't have those. They have to go to Merry (my other sister) because she has the rest of the set." So Merry got them.

I don't like the part of me that feels inferior. But I guess it's just something I have to live with. My husband loves me.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Death

My sister died Thursday and the funeral was today.

The morning she died I was looking out my kitchen window at the little stream running thru my backyard. I felt like she had left us and joined the water. The stream was made up of thousands of souls who were traveling down the creek, to the pond, to the river and the ocean. Some of them would evaporate and come back to earth. Some would just luxuriate in being together; rolling over and under in the softness. Clare might giggle as she traveled over the rocks in the stream. It would feel so good. And she would find such peace surrounded by the other souls.

Life had gotten so hard for her. I saw her just before she went to the hospital, she looked and me and said, "I don't know what I'm going to do." She was so worried about being so sick and helpless. I'm not sure she ever acknowledged that she was dying. Maybe she just didn't want to upset anyone else. And none of us talked about it because we didn't upset her.

2009 has not started well. I expect it will get worse.